How simple...

**The first part of this blog is written in response to a YouTube video, that I refuse to link, by someone trying to explain that he believes its perfectly ok to use the term 'retard' as a joke, as an insult. SO this is what I say to him, and to anyone else who is convinced its OK.**


How simple life must be when you can call someone a 'retard' in jest or to offend, and not think anything of it.


It must be so great to not have been told your child, your grandchild, your niece or nephew, brother or sister, or friend, has been diagnosed as 'mentally and/or physically retarded'(Whether at birth or later in life due to acquired brain injury). Someone in your life that you love and care for and would give anything for.

How fabulous to not live a life where you have witnessed what it's like to support and care for someone who cant care for themselves and needs daily assistance, but who's smile lights up your world.

How awesome it must be to not be involved or know someone who has a learning delay who strived so hard despite everything, to go through school and even college/uni/TAFE and is now working amongst the community, and still has so many wonderful goals they want to achieve.

You must feel so safe knowing that none of your family or friends have been in an accident and ended up with debilitating brain damage, and have had to fight against all odds and relearn to do things like walk and talk all over again.

You must feel so free and blissful;

...not having to care about these people, their family and friends, not having to have any respect for them.

...living life so oblivious to the people around you, that you haven't even noticed how many amazing people there really are fighting everyday to overcome the challenges life has thrown at them.

...living life so ignorant to the fact that one day...that person could be YOUR child, your niece, nephew, brother, sister, friend, friends child...One day that person could even be YOU.



I read so many articles about 'spreading to word, to end the word', and I believe and hope that 'we' are getting through, but I wonder if some of these articles and YouTube videos miss the point. Often they don't really explain the reasons for not using it, and what it really means to hear someone use the word 'retard' or 'spastic' in jest or as insult.

So being the open and honest person that I am, I am going to explain it CLEARLY AND SIMPLY.

When you call someone a 'retard' in jest or to be offensive and rude, whether to a close friend, when you really mean to say uncoordinated or silly, or to try and describe something/someone in a cruel way, what you are doing is devaluing and degrading the life of MY child, and anyone else who has been diagnosed with 'mental and/or physical retardation'.

You are saying that my son, who was diagnosed with 'SEVERE mental and physical retardation', is a joke, is disgusting, is something to laugh about.

My son, who through nobody's fault, was born with important parts of his brain (that control his functioning) missing; is JOKE to you?

My son who, yes, flaps his arms around, makes loud noises, and doesn't understand much beyond that he likes chocolate and reading books with his mummy, who is loved by MANY around him: is something to laugh about?

My son who will need me to change his nappy's, and spoon feed him, and help to do everything for, for the rest of his life.....but who's smile can light up a whole room.

My son who's body has to fight pain and illness on a regular basis, has had multiple surgeries, who despite what the dr's said, has leant to crawl, and may one day learn to walk.

My son whom might one day do inappropriate things in public, might seem awkward and anti-social, but who when you look past those things, accept those things as his normal is the most amazing wonderful precious boy.

The person whom I love so dearly, who grew inside me, who I gave birth to, who I care for and will give my absolute all to,.........someone who cant defend himself, someone who cant speak up on his own behalf....THAT'S who you are insulting.

And in turn that is why you are upsetting and hurting ME.... His family. His friends. His carers. EVERYONE who helps and cares for him.

So next time you go to use that word..to offend...joke...insult...take a moment to think....REALLY? ...DO YOU REALLY WANT TO USE a word used to medically describe children and adults all over the world who show the most incredible strength and determination in life imaginable as an insult?